8 days after surgery

He seems completely back to normal except for this unsettled-ness. Now I am worrying myself that he has glaucoma. He still doesn't really like being on his back but only for the night sleep and I don't know if that's because he is in pain or he's used to sleeping upright on me because we've been doing that for days.

It feels like this PHPV thing is a rollercoaster. I go along thinking everything is great, then we have an appointment and he needs surgery. He has that, I go along thinking he's going to be able to see, we have an appointment and it's more bad news. It's up and down and up and down.

I feel like I shouldn't HAVE TO put drops in his eyes every hour. Why can't I just have a normal little family who just goes along having their problems but not stopping every hour to put drops in his eyes? I'll just get started on something then it's like "oh have to stop now to put drops in". Put the drops in and start it again then it's time to put him to bed, but before we do - more drops. Every time he wakes up at night I am putting these damn drops in. He is sick of it and so am I. I really hope he hasn't got glaucoma, that is managed by drops in his eyes all day. I know I will handle it if that's the case I just don't want another set of bloody drops.

In certain light his eye looks black, in others it's red. Most of the time I can't see the pupil. He has it closed a lot too and when it's open it's usually drifting off to the left while the right eye looks straight ahead. I just want it to clear so it doesn't look so "dead". What if it never goes back to how it was? I look at photos of him 2 weeks ago and he had two beautiful eyes, even though one couldn't see. What if it never goes back like that? I couldn't live with myself knowing I agreed to the surgery and it did that to his eye.